Divorce is rarely easy. For couples in Texas, one of the most difficult aspects of a divorce is telling their children the news. While your kids are bound to experience negative emotions about the split, there are steps you can take to deliver the news in a kind and loving manner. That’s why HealthyChildren.org recommends the following advice when talking to your kids about divorce.
Emphasize Security
Even if it’s not directly expressed, many kids fear that their security will be impacted by divorce. This can result from a change of residence, the fact that one parent will no longer be involved in daily life, or even changes in routine. Emphasize that your child is loved above all else and that all changes will be in their best interest. Explain that even though you and your ex-spouse will no longer live together you both still love your child dearly and will continue to care for him or her. Also, be forthcoming about changes so your child knows what to expect (which can be reassuring).
Keep It Simple
Kids don’t need details when hearing about divorce. They need simple and concise statements that explain the situation in a way they can understand. The core message should be one of love, from both you and your ex. When at all possible the news should be delivered as a team and if your kids have questions they should be answered to the best of your ability. You should also be prepared for a range of responses; some children may be surprised by the news while others may have been anticipating the split.
Address Statements About Fault
Among the questions your kids may ask, one may center on whether they were at fault for what happened. Many children feel responsible for their parents’ break up, even when there is a myriad of other issues at play. Be sure that your child knows that he or she was in no way responsible for what occurred. Explain that is an adult issue and that you and your ex will be happier separated. If you must, reiterate this to your kids and have your former spouse do the same.